Monday, October 13, 2008

Alright, here we go...er, well, here I go, but you are invited to come with me on my journey...

So, here I sit in my pajamas, contemplating my life and wondering how to get from point A to point Z. Mary Marantz wrote a post on her blog recently aptly entitled "The Joy is in the Journey," where she parallels the art and frustration of pancake creation to the impatience she feels just to get there and have it and be it. I relate, Mrs. Marantz. Ever so much.

My mother used to always say that "Patience is a virtue," and I even find myself reciting this same factoid to impatient friends who seek my advice. When I get ancy, however, I have to remind myself to breathe and speak slower, to others and to myself for my own internal dialogue. This was even a point of discussion that I had several times with Justin and Mary while working with them all summer. I know where I want to be... and I see myself there, at Point Z, in my house, sipping coffee looking out to the oceanic panorama while my loving husband wraps his arms around me and kisses me on the cheek. I am wrapped in a soft blanket and the smells of garlic and cooked food linger in the air. There are coffee table books filled with the stories of my life and pictures from all over the world set carefully next to magazines that have published my work. I work for myself, getting paid to travel and to photograph my journey, I have a happy and wonderful marriage, and a beautiful home on waterfront property where I can live and relax and reflect on the times when I had nothing and the trials and tribulations of my journey to get there.

Ohhh, the thinking back to Point A. Well, really it's more like Point N, considering all my life experience. But knowing that I am only at Point N brings on the impatience monster, and it picks me up and shakes me and clouds my optimistic take on the "The Big Picture" and eclipses the beams of light that guide me through this tunnel. I just get frustrated at not being where I want to be. Then, I have to close my eyes and breathe deeply and remind myself that I have accomplished a lot. I have gone to college three times. I lived in NY. I had an art studio in NY. I have learned along the way (huge credit for me there; I am avid student of life and am ever seeking knowledge, and am positive that I am not done taking classes yet). I ask A LOT of questions. I expect a lot of myself and others. But then, I want it now, I want it now, I want it now.

I want it now. Breathe. Rewind to remind: I have gone through a lot to get to the point that I am at today. My non-complacent attitude towards life and my goals pushes me onward to be a better person, photographer, and goal-achiever. I will get there. Crawl before you walk. Walk before you run. That's how we initially started to get from Point A to Point B. So, I have crawled and I have walked. Now, I am going to start running. I don't know any other way. I have found the career I seek. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. All the other pieces will fall into place. I am not ashamed to share this with you because I am a completely honest person and am being true to myself and others. Like I said, I don't know any other way.

So, if you see me running by, it's cuz I want to get to the light at the tunnel's end. I may stop and chat, but I will not turn around or backtrack. I am on mission to realize the way I want my life to be and my talent and determination are my escorts to that end. Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. So prepare I will. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive of me and my dreams. See ya on the flipside.

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2 comments:

  1. I LOVE this post! Great job girlie!! Can't wait to see all the amazing things you do!

    xoox
    M:)

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  2. Thank you, Mary! Onward and upward! Thank you for your support and the inspiration that you and Justin give me1
    -C

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